|unemployment at its finest|
i have been back for just over three months, and it has been rough. not death and torture bad, but unexpected turn of events bad.
this is the first time in my entire life that i have been without routine. without structure to my days. it all started with bottle, sleep, diaper change, then daycare, then school for thirteen years, university for four, then BAM. twenty two years old and it all changed. i replaced the comfort of routine with an exhilarating anxiety accompanying my travels. and now that i am back in my hometown, with my family, but no school, no friends, no work, no commitments, all the exhilaration is gone.
i became depressed when i got home and came off my adventure high and began to settle into reality. people asked if i was depressed because i wished i was still traveling, because i didn't have a job, because i missed my friends...people asked A LOT of questions i didn't know the answer to. i hated bumping into people i hadn't seen since before i left for my trip. the "what are you up to know?" loomed above their heads. one slightly intoxicated night i was presented that question from some people i went to highschool with. i was fed up with the question, and my memorized blurb that always followed it, so i got creative.
"well funny you ask, im actually moving to dubai tomorrow, good thing i bumped into you tonight, who knows when i'll be back!" or the ever popular "just weighing the pros and cons of the med schools that accepted me"
for that i apologize, not my proudest moment. although i must admit the summer acting camps have paid off in full.
now it is just past the third month of unemployment, and the adventure is still on. even if it is mainly consisting of days in my kiddie pool on the back deck.