the thunder and the rain

when i was little i loved thunderstorms.
i remember camping through a thunderstorm on a family vacation to pei one summer. dad cooked outside in the downpour and brought the burgers inside the tent for me and mom.
i remember my mom and dad counting mississippi's in between the thunder and lightening to see how many km's away it was.
i remember going to bed when it was pouring rain outside. i would open my window wide, pull up the blind and fall asleep to the damp air and to the sound of rain drops pounding against the metal ease troughs.
i remember when the power would go out and dad would go for the flashlights and mom would get started on the candles.
when ever it is raining so hard that people stop to watch the water hit the pavement, when i see kids clutch their parents hands after a loud roar of thunder. i smile. i think of home and feeling so safe.

sunday night dinner

i don't lick the beaters when they have cake frosting on
them. but i sure as shit will lick this spicy blue-cheesey
heaven off of them!

ever since my move to calgary i have been spending each sunday night with my pseudo family, the nills. i've known them since i was wee. pseudo dad coached football with real dad and pseudo mom and real mom became the bestest of buddies. the rest is history. each sunday we usually have a dinner that is based around a hefty portion of red meat. red. alberta meat. farmed here in alberta on my pseudo dad's brothers cattle ranch, just a couple hours north east of calgary.
when i arrived tonight i saw a bowl full of ground beef sitting on the counter. ready to be squished and squirmed through aggressive fingers and formed into thick juicy patties.
pseudo mom plunked this recipe clipping in front of me.
"tonight we're making this!"

ULTIMATE BBQ TOPPER
1/4 C franks redhot original sauce
1/4 C mayonnaise
4 oz cream cheese softened (1/2 pkg)
3/4 C blue cheese crumbles *

mix all that crap together then put the bowl into the fridge to cool until you are ready to serve.
when you are ready to eat, take it out of the fridge and then use it to coat the shit out of your burger.
tonight i didn't even put anything else on my burger. just this.


*i fucking love blue cheese. it is by far my favourite of the cheeses.
blue cheese, cheese curds (squeaky cheese), brie (specifically baked brie with jam on top), goat, and real fresh mozzarella when it is in those little squishy ball things.

giddy giddy

a list of things i am extremely - consumes my thoughts - christmas eve belly excited for.

1. CONTINENT
my upcoming trip to asia. i fly into beijing on july 18th. i have nothing planned. no idea where i'm going or what i'll be getting up to. the unknown is intoxicating.

2. CONTEST
my submission to arrival magazine's DREAM JOB competition. at the end of june they will announce what is happening next. not sure if that means the short list will get announced or if they will announce the winner. either way i am beyond pumped. it is the first thing i think of when i wake up. i get flustered that because of the time change i may have missed a tweet or facebook post. the contest literally is consuming my thoughts.

3.CONTRACT
and then there is also the thrill of me finishing my job contract on july 6th!!!!! and i literally can't put into words how thrilled i am to be done with this job. i have never once been so excited to leave a chunk of my life behind. i am sad that this family and this position were not what i expected. but i sure have learned a lot from my time with them. and it has made me supremely aware of how i want to spend my time.

4.COMMRADE
on july 4th one of my best friends is flying into calgary to visit for stampede. i haven't seen alana since christmas. i can't wait to wake up and look over to the other couch in loraine's living room and have alana's morning face to look at. that's creepy right. well i don't care if it is. i miss that kid. i am going to crash at loraine's with alana while she is here. i imagine her visit will be filled with shot gunning beers, going to free pancakes breakfasts, and lots and lots of new memories.

so june and july 2012 are really turning out to be quite eventful months for me. lots of excitement. lots of changes. it seems a world away from where i was last june and july. in a depression riddled hell. not knowing where my life was going. not wanting to settle. feeling suffocated in my home. which wasn't really my home anymore. little did june 2011 me know that one year from then i would be planning another trip of a lifetime. that i would have all my money re-saved up from my last adventure and would have another one way ticket in my possession.

fingers crossed everybody. and please follow @mlenstewart and @arrivalmagazine on twitter to keep up to date on the contest happenings. thanks